1 00:00:33,420 --> 00:00:36,220 You know, I'd love to, but I promised to see my gran tonight. 2 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:40,680 I wish I could, Linda, but I've got this pile of homework you wouldn't believe. 3 00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:42,100 Sorry, Linda! 4 00:00:43,620 --> 00:00:46,840 I told my mum I'd help her paint the garden, or something. 5 00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:51,640 Oh, no, any night but today, hmm? 6 00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:53,920 I mean any day but tonight. 7 00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:56,780 Could you tell me what excuses haven't been used yet? 8 00:00:57,060 --> 00:00:58,240 I've seen this guy, right? 9 00:00:58,540 --> 00:01:00,960 Rich, when he left for his wedding, he threw credit cards. 10 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:05,890 Sorry. And his right foot takes the lead. But his left foot catches up. Now 11 00:01:05,890 --> 00:01:08,710 right foot comes back. And as they round the first turn, his feet are neck and 12 00:01:08,710 --> 00:01:10,070 neck, which is a pretty good trick for feet. 13 00:01:10,290 --> 00:01:13,670 But what's up ahead? A couple of female admirers. Don't think much of yours. 14 00:01:14,350 --> 00:01:15,350 Spike, how sweet. 15 00:01:15,730 --> 00:01:17,110 You found a couple of friends. 16 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:20,390 Well, you know what they say. Always stand by your feet. 17 00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:23,650 Anyway, kid, I love to stand, Paul. But your blouse doesn't match your skirt, 18 00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:25,950 and it's really annoying me. His left, his right, his left. 19 00:01:26,890 --> 00:01:28,270 Spike, have you got anything on tonight? 20 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:30,920 Just my kidney transplant. 21 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,200 They can mail it to me. 22 00:01:32,380 --> 00:01:33,380 Good. 23 00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:35,320 Oh, no, come on, Linda. 24 00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:37,300 Not a yellow. It's Saturday. 25 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,840 Sarah, I'm being angry. Don't spoil it. 26 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:46,640 Can you believe this? I've got so much homework. 27 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,300 I'll be voting age before I've finished and she dumps the yellow chit on me. 28 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:51,400 I'll take it for you. 29 00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:53,360 What? I'll take your yellow. 30 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,860 She'll never let you. She never lets the younger kids. Yeah, but if I ask her 31 00:01:57,860 --> 00:01:59,120 and she says yes, can I take it? 32 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:01,820 Yeah, sure. Thanks. Thanks a lot. 33 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:04,720 Vinnie, bye. 34 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,580 Yeah, that's OK, Sarah. 35 00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:09,979 Great. 36 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,520 What does she want to borrow my calculator for anyway? 37 00:02:12,860 --> 00:02:13,860 I don't know. 38 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:19,500 I've just remembered I'm visiting my aunt in Sherrington. She's ill again and 39 00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:20,560 it's very serious. 40 00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:24,340 Kenny, two weeks ago you were at your aunt in Sherrington's funeral. 41 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,520 I sort of assumed she was dead at the time. 42 00:02:28,460 --> 00:02:29,460 Yeah, well, that's serious. 43 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:37,960 And his left foot is leading on a final leg, and as his arm goes out to reach 44 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:40,500 for the door handle, the crowd is going absolutely wild. 45 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:43,760 What's this? 46 00:02:44,020 --> 00:02:47,240 Well, either it's the screwed -up ball of yellow paper, or you've done 47 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,240 terrible to a canary. 48 00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:52,320 Spike, once a month I ask you to do late duty in the newsroom. Is that such a 49 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,480 big deal? From 5 .30 to 10 o 'clock on a Saturday night? Yeah, that's a big 50 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:56,500 deal. I'm not doing it. 51 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,840 Can I just remind you of a few basic facts of life? 52 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,820 Sure. I'll tell you when you get to my favourite. 53 00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:07,300 You joined the Junior Gazette because you had to. Because it was either that 54 00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:08,380 getting kicked out of the school. 55 00:03:08,660 --> 00:03:09,660 That's not it. 56 00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:11,400 This place is your last chance, Thompson. 57 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:12,799 Yeah, right. 58 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:17,760 Which means one phone call from me to Sullivan saying you're not pulling your 59 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,840 weight and you are out with a capital everything. 60 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,220 And I don't just mean out of the Gazette, Thompson. 61 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:23,700 I mean out of the school. 62 00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:25,420 You don't turn up tonight. 63 00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:26,740 I'll make that phone call. 64 00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:31,360 Make your phone call. I will be here. Hey, Spy, come on. This is... Kenny, get 65 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,560 me Sullivan's home phone number. Linda, come on. Look, you two, let's just leave 66 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,420 it. Shut up, Kenny. You're spoiling the fun. Well, let me just leave it. Shut 67 00:03:37,420 --> 00:03:38,740 up, Kenny. You're spoiling my fun. 68 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,220 Linda, this is stupid. 69 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,120 Kenny, Sullivan's home phone number now. Right, OK. 70 00:03:43,340 --> 00:03:44,620 This is so stupid. 71 00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:45,900 Jeff, the phone. 72 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:49,820 You still here? Are you kidding? 73 00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:52,800 I wouldn't miss this. It's the first time I've seen you really enjoying 74 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,100 yourself. Keep watching. 75 00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:56,290 Linda, is this about yesterday? 76 00:03:56,550 --> 00:03:58,230 It's got nothing to do with yesterday. 77 00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:02,210 Yesterday? Look, could everybody just stop going on about yesterday, OK? 78 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:03,810 Is this the number? 79 00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:05,690 Yeah. Good. 80 00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:07,890 Tell me one more time, Spike. 81 00:04:08,210 --> 00:04:11,790 Tell me you're not coming in tonight so I can phone right now and really enjoy 82 00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:12,790 it. 83 00:04:12,950 --> 00:04:14,730 Come on, Spike. Make my day. 84 00:04:17,230 --> 00:04:18,230 Spike, no! 85 00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:21,310 Linda, this is getting right out of hand. 86 00:04:23,070 --> 00:04:25,160 Look, just... Tell her you're coming. 87 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,360 What's one evening? What's five hours? 88 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,020 I'm dialling, Spike. 89 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,400 She's dialling, Sarah. 90 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,440 She's in kind of a funny mood at the moment. 91 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,360 Did you hear about yesterday? 92 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,480 Yeah, sure. Wasn't that yesterday? 93 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:38,840 Mr Sullivan? 94 00:04:39,420 --> 00:04:41,400 This is Linda. Could you wait just one moment? 95 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:45,580 Goodbye. Send her the postcard. Wish you were there already. 96 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,520 Kenny? 97 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:52,240 Yeah? 98 00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:54,600 Why have I just found the weather forecast? 99 00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:17,140 Fridge. 100 00:05:17,820 --> 00:05:20,160 Tiddler, why do you keep saying that? Saying what? 101 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:25,640 Fridge. Because my mum says I'm not to use bad words, so I say fridge whenever 102 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:26,640 need to say fridge. 103 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,960 You just said fridge both times there. 104 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,620 And you thought you'd catch me out. 105 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:33,360 What are you writing? 106 00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,200 Nothing, just my English assignment. 107 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,700 Right. What are you doing? 108 00:05:38,220 --> 00:05:40,740 It's not here, so I'm phoning Sullivan to tell him. 109 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:42,860 It's only just on 5 .30. 110 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,000 I'm not getting a dialing tone. 111 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,480 Would it help if I blew in this end? 112 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:49,480 Reconnect that. 113 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:52,760 Look, it could be that he's just late. Let's give him some time. He's had time. 114 00:05:52,980 --> 00:05:54,360 He's already said he's not coming. 115 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:55,920 Reconnect the phone. 116 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:59,380 And what's it going to look like if you get Sullivan all ready with the axe in 117 00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:02,420 the head basket and then Spike comes through that door two minutes later? 118 00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:07,380 Now, look, you're doing great. You know, one day you're even going to like being 119 00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:11,260 nice. Kenny, you're wrong about this. I'm not out to get Spike. 120 00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:15,580 Believe me, nothing, nothing could make me happier than if Spike walked through 121 00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:16,580 that door right now. 122 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,040 Hi, guys, I'm here, I'm ready, and I'm feeling dangerous. 123 00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:24,040 You know, I looked in the mirror today, I was looking so great, it just gave up. 124 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:27,100 I'm sorry, nothing can make you happier than this, right? 125 00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:28,380 You're late. 126 00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:31,400 Yeah? Well, according to my watch, I'm early. 127 00:06:31,820 --> 00:06:33,880 And 200 feet below sea level in Finland. 128 00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:37,240 You were supposed to be here before half past five. My dad gave me this watch 129 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:38,240 for my 14th birthday. 130 00:06:38,420 --> 00:06:41,000 And a name of a place where I could get it fixed. And what happened about you 131 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,980 not coming here at all? I was kind of touched, you know. He was ages in the 132 00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:45,340 drawer looking for it like a man. Hi, Spike. 133 00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:46,359 Hi, Tim. 134 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:47,740 What are you doing here? I got Sarah's yellow. 135 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,300 Yeah? Well, I hope they can cure that now. 136 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,400 I certainly intend to. You're crazy. 137 00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:54,480 Well, it must be that outfit. It's driving me out of my mind. Do you like 138 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:55,900 Like it? I love it. 139 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,420 You know, I heard they can pick up those colors on radar now. 140 00:06:58,880 --> 00:06:59,879 You're so crazy. 141 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,120 Hey, I got a story for you. A true story. Come here. 142 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:04,180 I got this uncle, right? 143 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:05,640 They call him Crazy Eddie. 144 00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:08,900 Well, this kind of worries him. He said to me, Spike, I don't know why people 145 00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:09,899 call me Crazy Eddie. 146 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:10,900 My name's Bob. 147 00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:14,880 But anyway, Crazy Eddie decides he needs a new grass catcher for his mower. 148 00:07:15,290 --> 00:07:16,290 Wacky guy, right? 149 00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:19,670 So he goes to the mower shop and asks if he's got the right kind of grass 150 00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:20,750 catcher for his mega mower. 151 00:07:21,130 --> 00:07:24,530 The guy says, I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have one in this week. But if you 152 00:07:24,530 --> 00:07:26,770 care to come back next week, we should have some in stock then, okay? 153 00:07:27,370 --> 00:07:30,890 So next week, Crazy Eddie goes back to the store, buys the right kind of grass 154 00:07:30,890 --> 00:07:31,890 catcher for his mega mower. 155 00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:37,150 Okay, I said it was true. I didn't say it was interesting. 156 00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:42,590 Don't you think you've got something to say to me? 157 00:07:42,870 --> 00:07:46,700 Suddenly she stood before him. Their eyes met, especially hers. You really 158 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:47,780 to do something about that squint. 159 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,120 I don't have a squint. Oh, no. Must be me. 160 00:07:50,780 --> 00:07:51,780 Here we go. 161 00:07:51,860 --> 00:07:54,900 Yeah. So what happened to the guy who was too tough to come in tonight? 162 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,580 Don't tell me you got frightened of little old me. 163 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,780 You know, if you did have a squint, it might actually improve your appearance. 164 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,400 If I had a squint, it would certainly improve yours. 165 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,020 Oh, were you being funny there? I mean, I've heard rumors about you doing this. 166 00:08:06,580 --> 00:08:08,320 I've got a sense of humor, same as anyone. 167 00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:10,340 Yeah, you told me once, but I thought you were joking. 168 00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:12,340 Probably because I always laugh when I'm looking at you. 169 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,479 You laugh. 170 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,140 We'd have to use electrodes. Yeah, on you. 171 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,280 Look, can we just calm this down a minute, please? Tell her she's the one 172 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,040 needs relaxing. I'm perfectly relaxed. 173 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,040 You're so uptight, your feet don't reach the ground. 174 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:23,639 Major, look. 175 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,460 Look, we've got a whole evening to get through here. Spike, you're just trying 176 00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:27,860 to wind Linda up and you know it. 177 00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:30,740 And Linda, you don't usually let him get you like this. What's wrong? 178 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,760 I know. 179 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:34,720 Sarah told me. 180 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,580 Is this about yesterday again? 181 00:08:41,059 --> 00:08:43,020 Somebody please tell me what happened yesterday. 182 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:45,700 Melinda's boyfriend made history. 183 00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:49,900 Melinda. 184 00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:55,080 After I left, Sarah caught up with me and told me. 185 00:08:56,260 --> 00:08:58,200 Just when I was feeling good about my big exit. 186 00:08:59,180 --> 00:09:02,680 But if I'd wanted your sympathy, you'd know. I'd have asked everyone else 187 00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:05,560 Fine. Terrific. 188 00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,300 I tried, but that's it. 189 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,680 Where are you going? What did you think? 190 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,119 Hey, Spike. 191 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,500 Look, Kenny, thanks for trying and everything, but I'm leaving, OK? 192 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,100 Before this gets any more stupid. 193 00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:18,500 Hi, everyone. 194 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,120 Colin? 195 00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:21,580 Surprised to see me? 196 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:22,840 Uh, yeah. 197 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,740 Colin, I hate to ask an obvious question. 198 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,760 I bet you're wondering how I got invited to Warner Edison's house tonight, 199 00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:29,339 aren't you? 200 00:09:29,340 --> 00:09:31,180 Well, actually... I can hardly believe it myself. 201 00:09:31,540 --> 00:09:35,640 58 shops he's got and four pubs. This guy could buy Scotland as a tax loss. 202 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,660 I do a bit of business with him, get a bit of advertising from him, and he 203 00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:43,440 invites me over to his house to discuss my future. I mean, wow, right? 204 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,540 And you're on your way there now, yeah? 205 00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:47,880 Yeah, just thought I'd stop off for a pep talk. 206 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:52,340 He's a formal kind of a guy, you know, dead serious, no sense of humour. I 207 00:09:52,340 --> 00:09:54,060 mind telling you I'm as nervous as anything. 208 00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:57,760 I'm uptight, I've got the jitters. I hardly know what I'm doing. 209 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,000 Does it show? 210 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,980 Well... A bit, yeah. 211 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:05,640 Really? How? 212 00:10:05,710 --> 00:10:07,930 Well, it's kind of hard to pin down exactly. 213 00:10:08,610 --> 00:10:09,630 I know what it is. 214 00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:14,270 It's my mother. Your mother? Crazy woman. I told her. I told her I was 215 00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:17,390 Warner Edison tonight. I told her it was the single most important day of my 216 00:10:17,390 --> 00:10:20,730 whole life. But it's my little sister's birthday party. And do you know what she 217 00:10:20,730 --> 00:10:24,090 makes me do? Do you know what she makes me do just to entertain the little brat? 218 00:10:24,450 --> 00:10:25,950 She made you dress up as a rabbit? 219 00:10:26,310 --> 00:10:30,010 Exactly. I mean, no wonder I'm still... How did you know? 220 00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:31,810 I had a few pointers. 221 00:10:32,570 --> 00:10:35,750 No, really, that's amazing. Just one look at me and you guessed I was dressed 222 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:36,729 a rabbit. 223 00:10:36,730 --> 00:10:39,770 Look, Colin, you're obviously kind of worked up on it. 224 00:10:40,070 --> 00:10:43,490 I mean, you're all excited and you don't quite know which end is up. 225 00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:44,710 Do you know what I'm saying? 226 00:10:46,470 --> 00:10:50,370 The point is, I just think that on your way here from the party, there might 227 00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:51,750 have been something you forgot to do. 228 00:10:56,490 --> 00:11:00,710 My life is over. 229 00:11:16,010 --> 00:11:17,190 Come on, Colin, what's the big deal? 230 00:11:17,530 --> 00:11:20,950 What's the big deal? He says to me, Kenny, this is the single most important 231 00:11:20,950 --> 00:11:23,170 of my whole life, and I'm a rabbit. 232 00:11:23,670 --> 00:11:24,710 So go home and change. 233 00:11:24,970 --> 00:11:28,990 Go home and change, he says to me. Go home and... I love that idea. 234 00:11:29,470 --> 00:11:32,410 It's a great idea, Spike. I love it. It's neat. It's simple. 235 00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:38,050 It'll work. It'll be at the cinema by now. 236 00:11:39,390 --> 00:11:41,390 Lucky I've got my house keys in my jack pocket, eh? 237 00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:46,970 So how long before he realizes he's not wearing his jacket? 238 00:11:51,130 --> 00:11:55,110 Stop whining and run. What? 239 00:11:55,510 --> 00:11:57,850 They may not have left yet. It's your only chance. Now go. 240 00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:00,870 Yeah, you're right. I'll try and catch them. Don't move it. Go, go, go. 241 00:12:06,210 --> 00:12:07,210 Poor guy. 242 00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:10,990 It's a real shame for him. 243 00:12:11,610 --> 00:12:12,610 It is. 244 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:14,499 It's terrible. 245 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,500 Oof. 246 00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:22,040 What 247 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:41,120 history 248 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:42,800 did Linda's boyfriend make? 249 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,580 Linda's boyfriend made history of Linda. 250 00:12:46,420 --> 00:12:49,940 Armstrong dumped her. Yeah. Could you get your facts straight? 251 00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:51,700 I haven't been dumped. 252 00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:55,520 James is doing maths at college. He just needs some time to himself for study. 253 00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:59,200 He is so studying, he told me. 254 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,320 He's doing a thing on Venn diagrams. 255 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,380 Yeah? She sounds foreign. 256 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,120 That's so typical of you, Spike. 257 00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:08,040 So pathetically typical. 258 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:09,440 Yeah, right. 259 00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:10,460 Gee, Chinese. 260 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,690 What? I'm hungry. Time for dinner. 261 00:13:15,270 --> 00:13:17,450 Well, usually we go down the fish and chip shop. 262 00:13:18,290 --> 00:13:19,490 What are you doing? 263 00:13:20,210 --> 00:13:21,850 Peking -style chicken and garlic. 264 00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:23,950 Sound okay? 265 00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:26,090 You can cook? 266 00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:28,850 Yeah. Well, in my house, it's either me or my dad. 267 00:13:29,290 --> 00:13:30,490 He only does beans. 268 00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:32,170 Ever seen my dad? 269 00:13:32,470 --> 00:13:34,170 Big stubble and dirty T -shirts. 270 00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:37,830 He's the sort of guy whose only serious interest in life is breaking wind, you 271 00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:38,699 know? 272 00:13:38,699 --> 00:13:40,680 That's why I likes beans. It's a meal we can enjoy twice. 273 00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:44,000 Tiddler, take these, set up a table for us, yeah? Yeah, sure. I just don't 274 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,000 believe this. 275 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:46,640 I don't. 276 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,200 Now, Tiddler, I'll give you a hand. 277 00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:50,020 I want a word with you anyway. 278 00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:51,460 What about? 279 00:13:51,940 --> 00:13:55,460 Your English assignment. I checked in your notebook and found out what it was. 280 00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:56,900 Uh -oh. 281 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,400 So, uh, doesn't your mother do any cooking? 282 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,120 She left when I was four. 283 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,900 And when I was five and when I was six. 284 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:06,520 She left kind of a lot, you know. 285 00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:09,480 Mom and Dad always used to have these really huge rows. 286 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,480 But you'd end with Mom coming up to my room and saying she was leaving. 287 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,120 That was my first word, leaving. 288 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,300 That's who I thought they were, Dad and leaving. 289 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,320 I once counted. She left home 217 times, sometimes more on a Saturday. 290 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:22,960 Must have been pretty rough. 291 00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:24,840 Yeah, especially Christmas. 292 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,340 They'd always have these really huge rows at Christmas. 293 00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:30,400 I mean, when I was a kid, I thought Santa was a marriage counselor, you 294 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,000 Why do you joke about it? 295 00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:34,560 That's just a way of hiding your feelings. 296 00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:36,790 How are my feelings? Look who's talking. 297 00:14:37,550 --> 00:14:38,550 What do you mean? 298 00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:39,690 Venn diagrams. 299 00:14:40,050 --> 00:14:42,030 Look, James did not dump me, OK? 300 00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:44,170 Sure. 301 00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:47,590 So you used to write a play with characters based on your friends? 302 00:14:47,910 --> 00:14:51,230 Yeah, it's supposed to be about at least three interesting people I know. 303 00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:53,570 But I could only think of Spike and Linda. 304 00:15:01,490 --> 00:15:02,490 Linda. 305 00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:10,250 Tiddler uses this so she can reach her typewriter. 306 00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:12,030 Why don't you take it outside? 307 00:15:12,270 --> 00:15:13,690 Kick hell out of it. Pretend it's your boyfriend. 308 00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:18,210 Spike, I have no reason whatsoever to wish to kick hell out of that pillow 309 00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:19,630 pretending it's my boyfriend, okay? 310 00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:22,550 Even if it does look a bit like him. 311 00:15:23,210 --> 00:15:24,510 Has about as much backbone. 312 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:29,170 I just don't have any feelings of aggression or hostility to work off, 313 00:15:29,210 --> 00:15:30,210 understood? 314 00:15:33,290 --> 00:15:34,870 How many pencils are you on a day? 315 00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,230 Spike, I was not dumped! 316 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:39,280 Guys, you've got to help me. 317 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,600 Let me just give you a tip. 318 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:46,040 Never try to thumb a lift dressed as a giant pink rabbit. I almost caused a 319 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,960 major traffic disaster on the Sherrington Road. 320 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,160 Didn't you make it to Warner Edison's? Are you kidding? 321 00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:52,160 I didn't even make it to my own house on time. 322 00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:53,580 They were gone? 323 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:54,600 What did you do? 324 00:15:54,980 --> 00:15:57,740 Panicked, screamed, had three nervous breakdowns. 325 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,940 I even tried to get in the toilet window. 326 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,720 I love a time for two policemen to walk past. 327 00:16:02,980 --> 00:16:04,060 No. Yeah. 328 00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:06,000 I think I must have looked suspicious. 329 00:16:06,660 --> 00:16:07,660 What were you about then? 330 00:16:07,930 --> 00:16:11,130 Nearly. I ran for it. I was all over town before I gave them a slip. 331 00:16:11,790 --> 00:16:13,030 I think they got my description. 332 00:16:13,490 --> 00:16:15,050 I've got to write some of this down. 333 00:16:15,890 --> 00:16:17,030 Listen, can I have your clothes? 334 00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:18,770 What? I've got to change into something. 335 00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:22,510 I can't miss this meeting, Spike. It's a big career moment for me. OK. Great. 336 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,670 Hey, girls, would you mind? I'm going to have to strip off here. 337 00:16:26,030 --> 00:16:27,810 We're not looking. I know. Would you mind? 338 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,009 Is it stuck? 339 00:16:31,010 --> 00:16:32,170 It's totally, totally stuck. 340 00:16:32,510 --> 00:16:33,870 Look, it can't be. Let me see. 341 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000 You're right. It's totally, totally stuck. 342 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,120 That's it. I'm out. I'm finished. I'm dead. 343 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,420 Just tell my parents and put me in the wok. 344 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:48,060 Why is it such a disaster, Connie? Why, Kenny? There are certain things you 345 00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:50,080 can't do stuck in a pink rabbit's costume. 346 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:52,680 Like meet Warner Edison, for one. 347 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,360 Certain other things I could mention, too. 348 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,000 My legs are crossed in four places. 349 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:02,420 Well, why not just go as you are? Oh, great plan, Kenny. Terrific. Fantastic. 350 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,380 Maybe he won't even notice. 351 00:17:04,859 --> 00:17:06,660 Maybe you just think I'm overweight and furry. 352 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,099 Yeah, I suppose you're right, Colin. 353 00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:11,240 I mean, even you haven't got the kind of silver tongue to talk your way out of 354 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,240 this one, right? 355 00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:14,660 Are you serious? 356 00:17:15,319 --> 00:17:19,319 Hey, guys, you weren't actually taken in by my little joke there, were you? You 357 00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:21,520 didn't actually think I was upset there, did you? 358 00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:27,980 I mean, don't just stand there gawking, guys. 359 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,760 If you only knew how stupid you all look. 360 00:17:36,460 --> 00:17:38,060 I was not dumped. 361 00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:44,700 This looks great, Spike. 362 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,400 My food always looks great. 363 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,460 Know what my secret is? 364 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:50,280 Paint. 365 00:17:52,660 --> 00:17:54,920 Everyone use these, OK? Yeah, my dad taught me. 366 00:17:55,220 --> 00:17:56,220 No sweat. 367 00:17:57,220 --> 00:17:58,220 Remember? 368 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,560 Of course I can. Sure. 369 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:07,960 problem, okay? 370 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,900 This is great, Spike. No kidding, honestly. 371 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,160 It's really terrific. 372 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:14,480 Really nice. 373 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,140 So what do you think, Linda? 374 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:23,020 I'm just... Not bad. 375 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:39,280 Get on with your eating. 376 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,240 Linda. 377 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,000 Sorry. 378 00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:52,120 Look, you just hold one chopstick across here, okay? 379 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:53,320 I'm managing. 380 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,000 Can't you admit defeat on anything? 381 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:57,580 Chopsticks or boyfriends? 382 00:19:57,340 --> 00:20:03,160 Linda you're the only person I've ever met who eats dinner to win I 383 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:08,580 Was dumped wasn't I 384 00:20:26,929 --> 00:20:27,929 Well, you know. 385 00:20:28,670 --> 00:20:29,670 She thinks she does. 386 00:20:30,770 --> 00:20:32,350 Maybe her eyes were just sweating. 387 00:20:37,390 --> 00:20:38,390 Colin? 388 00:20:42,570 --> 00:20:43,670 Hi, Colin. What's wrong? 389 00:20:43,930 --> 00:20:44,930 How is Warner Edison? 390 00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:46,330 Dead. 391 00:20:46,930 --> 00:20:51,230 What? He had a heart attack last Wednesday, two hours after he phoned me 392 00:20:51,230 --> 00:20:52,230 round. 393 00:20:52,410 --> 00:20:54,090 It was his funeral this afternoon. 394 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,700 and they were having a sort of a gathering at his house. 395 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,640 Do you know what I really wish? 396 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:06,800 What? I wish I hadn't pushed past the guy that opened the door, rushed into 397 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,240 house and shouted, Hi, Warner, I'm a bunny, Gran. 398 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,400 Do you have any idea what it's like to have every single rich and powerful 399 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:20,080 person in town dressed in black and staring at you while you're wearing a 400 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,020 pink rabbit costume to a funeral? 401 00:21:26,670 --> 00:21:29,430 Excuse me, I'm just going into the toilet to whimper for a while. 402 00:21:33,690 --> 00:21:36,310 Colin, we've already got somebody whimpering in there. 403 00:21:36,550 --> 00:21:38,410 Maybe you'd like to go under one of the desks. 404 00:21:39,250 --> 00:21:40,250 Fine, thanks. 405 00:21:45,390 --> 00:21:52,230 What are you doing, Spike? 406 00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:57,170 I think you should just leave her alone. 407 00:22:02,050 --> 00:22:03,050 Linda. 408 00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:06,290 Hey, look. 409 00:22:06,770 --> 00:22:07,830 I know you're upset. 410 00:22:09,090 --> 00:22:10,410 I know you're probably crying. 411 00:22:12,370 --> 00:22:13,850 But look, there's something I want to say. 412 00:22:14,950 --> 00:22:16,630 You don't have to answer or anything. 413 00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:21,090 It's kind of difficult. 414 00:22:22,330 --> 00:22:23,510 I mean, my dad... 415 00:22:23,950 --> 00:22:26,630 He thinks apologizing is what your wife does if you hit her enough. 416 00:22:29,290 --> 00:22:30,290 Anyway. 417 00:22:30,870 --> 00:22:36,390 Well, the point is, well, the reason that I came in tonight was, well, was to 418 00:22:36,390 --> 00:22:38,670 show you that I'm not the cold joke that you thought I was. 419 00:22:41,210 --> 00:22:46,390 You know, maybe what I found out was that you weren't the total, well, 420 00:22:46,590 --> 00:22:49,010 well, that you were human. 421 00:22:50,010 --> 00:22:51,190 I mean, there have been rumors. 422 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:59,440 Look, all I'm trying to say is, is that it's okay to be, you know, human. 423 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,620 I mean, you don't have to hide it. 424 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:05,920 I mean, we won't think you're a lousy editor because you're... Well, because 425 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:06,920 you're crying and stuff, right? 426 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:10,600 Okay? 427 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,100 Okay, everyone, let's get something done here. 428 00:23:23,530 --> 00:23:26,910 Tiddler, clear away the dishes. Kenny, I want to look at how we're reporting the 429 00:23:26,910 --> 00:23:30,170 school trip. I mean, it's hill walking, right? That's potentially controversial, 430 00:23:30,370 --> 00:23:31,370 maybe even dangerous. 431 00:23:31,530 --> 00:23:32,530 Let's get an angle. 432 00:23:32,690 --> 00:23:34,430 Okay, boss. I'll get Freddy's notes. 433 00:23:34,810 --> 00:23:35,810 Linda. 434 00:23:37,630 --> 00:23:40,490 Are you really expecting any of us to believe you weren't crying in there? 435 00:23:41,010 --> 00:23:42,430 Of course I wasn't crying. 436 00:23:43,010 --> 00:23:46,150 Mikey was just this guy I went out with. Why don't you just take a minute and 437 00:23:46,150 --> 00:23:47,630 relax? I'm fine. 438 00:23:48,410 --> 00:23:50,490 You can't keep this up, Linda. Nobody can. 439 00:23:51,450 --> 00:23:52,450 Watch me. 440 00:23:53,870 --> 00:23:55,490 Right, Kenny, what have we got? 441 00:23:58,330 --> 00:23:59,670 Do you know what I think we should do? 442 00:24:07,350 --> 00:24:08,350 Julie, 443 00:24:15,710 --> 00:24:16,710 you look worried. 444 00:24:16,750 --> 00:24:18,270 Sarah, believe me, I'm worried. 445 00:24:18,590 --> 00:24:19,509 What's happened? 446 00:24:19,510 --> 00:24:21,730 If I tell you, promise you won't tell anyone else. 447 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:22,919 You've got to promise. 448 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:23,920 Of course I won't. 449 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,060 It was last night. I was on my way home. It was dark. 450 00:24:27,860 --> 00:24:32,020 Sarah, I saw a giant pink rabbit running along the other side of the road. 451 00:24:32,260 --> 00:24:33,420 A giant pink rabbit? 452 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,240 Yeah. But you know when I really got scared? 453 00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:37,439 Tell me. 454 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,100 When it shouted, Hi, Julie. 455 00:24:39,740 --> 00:24:40,739 Shouted your name? 456 00:24:40,740 --> 00:24:42,540 Yeah. Was that all it said? 457 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:43,919 Hi, Julie. 458 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:46,640 No. It said, Can't stop, I'm late. 459 00:24:47,060 --> 00:24:49,500 Yeah? For a very important date.